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Patience. This is a virtue that I'm starting to learn these days. With my dad struggling with diabetes and my personal life in transition, making the right decisions is always nerve-wracking because I would want to make sure that they lead to a good direction for me.

If I were to have a consultation today, I would be diagnosed to be not well. I don't feel well. My responsibilities are confusing and I have the burden of my dad. Somehow, though, I have this spirit that won't accept defeat. I have a visual of my conquest in my mind that's why I am motivated to push through this phase in my life.

I may not recover immediately from this sick mode, but I know that I will get well soon.

 
 
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A guilty pleasure last December that's now a source of pressure
My finances are a mess right now and have been for a year. And yet I still get to buy a few of my favorite stuff every now and then. I still get to sample some of my favorite fixes from the grocery. Most of the time I would eat out as evidenced by this pork viand on the left which I tore into last December at a newly-opened restaurant. Bills are becoming higher and loans I applied for years ago are now determined more than ever to pursue me for payments.

I'm guilty. I mismanaged my budget. Why do I feel so much pressure now than last year? What now?

I surely can't rely on waiting for another increase at work or for new part-time jobs anymore. I need to put my foot down on my other foot and stop brisk-walking away from my poor skills in money management. I need to face it for what it is -- a poor skill. I'm not good enough and, therefore, need to brush up on it. There's no other way but to improve on the area where I'm most weak right now so that I can live up to the title of this blog. It is, after all, not just a blog title, but also a life credo I've envisioned for myself early this year.

This makes me realize that when you set out to enivision something for yourself, things fall into place... even if it means for a nagging weakness to be identified and replaced with a better skill. I'm no longer wonering why this life correction is happening this early just when I was hoping for a money solution at work. It's clear that the cause of my weakness does not need another false solution. I deserve an improved life. This is my chance. I need to modify my lifestyle and pay up soon.

 
 
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Snapped this at a mountain retreat away from the city
I met up with friends yesterday to do some catching up. This one friend shared how her ex-boyfriend got shot at and died last year (which I already know about) to the shock of the other friend listening (coz the latter did not know about it until yesterday). The story about mortality seemed to have made the other friend listening more melancholic than she already was. As a result, it encouraged her to share how stressed out she was at work. She was clocking in more hours than usual. She was also doing more tasks than usual because the company was experiencing cost-cutting and there aren't enough people to work.

After listening to her for countless of minutes about her burden, I asked her how her sleep was lately. The question sort of got her thinking deep like she never thought of sleep as something that she needs to think about. The pause was epic, but she answered eventually with four hours. I told her that four hours isn't enough. Quality sleep can only happen on a regular basis when the average hour is six. She gave lots of reasons why she would always have a hard time falling to sleep. She went on to share that she's got lots of things to do also to even add two more hours to her existing sleep schedule.

I then remembered reading about the principle of adding to get less in a magazine that I bought a few weeks ago. It mentioned there how one can lose weight by eating the right food which normally goes against the usual advice of not eating to weigh less. With that in mind, I suggested my friend to add one enjoyable and relaxing activity to her daily schedule for her to strike a balance in her full schedule. For all she knows, she may be overdoing something there that's making her stressed out. The new activity does not have to be big or elaborate. It can be anything from mental meditation to getting a massage.

She remembered attempting to do scrapbooking but she would always end up not getting started at all. I further suggested that she can do it next time with a friend or someone else who's an expert with scrapbooking. Another person can bring wonders to the dynamic. It's usually what works for the person anyway.