I don't have diabetes. My father has it. I, on the other hand, has a tendency to be very depressed. It's only this year that I found out that being depressed all the time has something to do with being prone to having diabetes for a lot of valid medical reasons. This is what drove me to conduct my own personal awareness campaign on the condition.

Just a few months ago, I suffered my deepest bout with depression. I'm now out of that, but there's this dangling fear of being prone to having the condition as I'm trying to pick up the pieces of my emotional state.

I was gone for months, away from the hustle and bustle of city life. Away from my family, especially my dad and I was worried in the beginning, but I needed the solitude. I was told it was necessary to check myself to a facility and so I did. I was admitted for depression. No matter how people kept telling me that my emotional condition was not that big, I felt I did the right thing.

I'm now done with it and I've come out a better person as a result. My doctor advised me to continue my online journal as it will help me size up the minor challenges that will come my way once I'm totally out of the facility (I still have sessions once a week, you see).

I'm still uncertain if I'm glad I'm on my own again. World, let me be happy again...

P.S. The day I came home was also the day when I received the news that a close friend of mine lost a good friend in New York. She was devastated to know that her friend got shot for no apparent reason while serving at a local pharmacy. Tragic. I'd like to think that I got myself in a better place to be able to comfort my friend. Down with senseless crimes!

I've always found the world that we're living in to be too noisy. People say so much and think less. People have so much to whine about (like what I'm doing now) and less to be thankful for (at least that's what they think).

Having watched the Reese Witherspoon-starrer How Do You Know, I was amazed by having no dialogue make for an interesting movie scene. The characters are attempting to say something but get cut by each other in the process. Very unconventional I must say. I guess that's why the movie is entitled How Do You Know and not How Do You Say. Oh well...

I'm sure you've all seen on the news the latest earthquake that struck Japan. It was early today and the tragedy came with a tsunami. The Pacific Tsunami Warning Center in Hawaii relayed to various news centers worldwide that a tsunami warning is in effect for a large swath of the Pacific after a magnitude 8.9 earthquake hit the Far East.

Before we all get crazy over what happened, I hope to be informed soon how many people died because it's just tragic. I keep on seeing images of cars, establishments, facilities, but I haven't seen any people yet.

It's so easy to feel bad. In my opinion, it's easier to be gloomy than to be cheerful. At least, this was my mindset years ago.

These days, I find it easier to be mild, in a good disposition, and feeling pleasant. The only reason I find it to be otherwise in some so-called off-days is the environment I live in. Let's face it. The world we live in is not perfect. Even abbeys have their fair share of disputes within its community of nuns. What I mean is the moment we wake up, the bad weather outside can immediately make us feel bad when we're scheduled to go jogging that day. Or a nosy relative can tick us off if we do not feel comfortable with unsolicited advices. The negativity posed by things and people around us most of the time decide for us how we should we feel. That's the way we practise daily living in the world.

What I learned in recent years is still based on that way of thinking, but this time I choose to draw my own thoughts and emotions from the good things that surround me. Yes, there are positive sources for daily living. This is why I named my blog Living Well Daily. I was on my way to work the other day and I noticed how vibrant the colors of the flowers were. It was all about lively colors for me that day. Little did I know that the reason why I had to have that goodness in my eyes was because I was going to encounter mishaps also. The office elevator did not work. Strangers caused me delays. Some friends gave me the cold shoulder. Fortunately, I did not dwell on those. I was still hooked on how wonderful the flowers were.

Patience. This is a virtue that I'm starting to learn these days. With my dad struggling with diabetes and my personal life in transition, making the right decisions is always nerve-wracking because I would want to make sure that they lead to a good direction for me.

If I were to have a consultation today, I would be diagnosed to be not well. I don't feel well. My responsibilities are confusing and I have the burden of my dad. Somehow, though, I have this spirit that won't accept defeat. I have a visual of my conquest in my mind that's why I am motivated to push through this phase in my life.

I may not recover immediately from this sick mode, but I know that I will get well soon.

My finances are a mess right now and have been for a year. And yet I still get to buy a few of my favorite stuff every now and then. I still get to sample some of my favorite fixes from the grocery. Most of the time I would eat out as evidenced by this pork viand on the left which I tore into last December at a newly-opened restaurant. Bills are becoming higher and loans I applied for years ago are now determined more than ever to pursue me for payments.

I'm guilty. I mismanaged my budget. Why do I feel so much pressure now than last year? What now?

I surely can't rely on waiting for another increase at work or for new part-time jobs anymore. I need to put my foot down on my other foot and stop brisk-walking away from my poor skills in money management. I need to face it for what it is -- a poor skill. I'm not good enough and, therefore, need to brush up on it. There's no other way but to improve on the area where I'm most weak right now so that I can live up to the title of this blog. It is, after all, not just a blog title, but also a life credo I've envisioned for myself early this year.

This makes me realize that when you set out to enivision something for yourself, things fall into place... even if it means for a nagging weakness to be identified and replaced with a better skill. I'm no longer wonering why this life correction is happening this early just when I was hoping for a money solution at work. It's clear that the cause of my weakness does not need another false solution. I deserve an improved life. This is my chance. I need to modify my lifestyle and pay up soon.

I met up with friends yesterday to do some catching up. This one friend shared how her ex-boyfriend got shot at and died last year (which I already know about) to the shock of the other friend listening (coz the latter did not know about it until yesterday). The story about mortality seemed to have made the other friend listening more melancholic than she already was. As a result, it encouraged her to share how stressed out she was at work. She was clocking in more hours than usual. She was also doing more tasks than usual because the company was experiencing cost-cutting and there aren't enough people to work.

After listening to her for countless of minutes about her burden, I asked her how her sleep was lately. The question sort of got her thinking deep like she never thought of sleep as something that she needs to think about. The pause was epic, but she answered eventually with four hours. I told her that four hours isn't enough. Quality sleep can only happen on a regular basis when the average hour is six. She gave lots of reasons why she would always have a hard time falling to sleep. She went on to share that she's got lots of things to do also to even add two more hours to her existing sleep schedule.

I then remembered reading about the principle of adding to get less in a magazine that I bought a few weeks ago. It mentioned there how one can lose weight by eating the right food which normally goes against the usual advice of not eating to weigh less. With that in mind, I suggested my friend to add one enjoyable and relaxing activity to her daily schedule for her to strike a balance in her full schedule. For all she knows, she may be overdoing something there that's making her stressed out. The new activity does not have to be big or elaborate. It can be anything from mental meditation to getting a massage.

She remembered attempting to do scrapbooking but she would always end up not getting started at all. I further suggested that she can do it next time with a friend or someone else who's an expert with scrapbooking. Another person can bring wonders to the dynamic. It's usually what works for the person anyway.