A guilty pleasure last December that's now a source of pressure
My finances are a mess right now and have been for a year. And yet I still get to buy a few of my favorite stuff every now and then. I still get to sample some of my favorite fixes from the grocery. Most of the time I would eat out as evidenced by this pork viand on the left which I tore into last December at a newly-opened restaurant. Bills are becoming higher and loans I applied for years ago are now determined more than ever to pursue me for payments.

I'm guilty. I mismanaged my budget. Why do I feel so much pressure now than last year? What now?

I surely can't rely on waiting for another increase at work or for new part-time jobs anymore. I need to put my foot down on my other foot and stop brisk-walking away from my poor skills in money management. I need to face it for what it is -- a poor skill. I'm not good enough and, therefore, need to brush up on it. There's no other way but to improve on the area where I'm most weak right now so that I can live up to the title of this blog. It is, after all, not just a blog title, but also a life credo I've envisioned for myself early this year.

This makes me realize that when you set out to enivision something for yourself, things fall into place... even if it means for a nagging weakness to be identified and replaced with a better skill. I'm no longer wonering why this life correction is happening this early just when I was hoping for a money solution at work. It's clear that the cause of my weakness does not need another false solution. I deserve an improved life. This is my chance. I need to modify my lifestyle and pay up soon.

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